Bootstrapper.com - Confessions of Serial Entrepreneurs

Lately it seems that many people I know are looking for help in various aspects of their life. Whether it’s a business venture they’re starting, personal advice, or just looking to connect with the right people to get whatever they need done. I’m trying to do the best I can to help these people or at least get them in touch with the right people that CAN help. This has been a very rewarding process as it helps me strengthen existing relationships and foster new ones.

I got to thinking that as an entrepreneur, we really can move forward FASTER if we work together. If someone asks you for a favor, maybe you should do it without any thought of what you’ll get out of it. A stranger looking for some mentoring can turn into a friend that you go whitewater rafting with pretty quickly (that’s a personal shout out to a friend, by the way). Take a chance. Never close the door. If someone asks, you answer.

So let me ask you BootStrappers out there… is there anything that I can do for you?

Our friends at rmbrME just launched their premium iPhone app, beamME Pro. It lets you beam your contact info to any phone - I’ve seen it in use at various events and it really works well. The nicest thing is that the person getting your card doesn’t need an iphone or special software. This new version has contact mapping (see new connections on the map!) and the ability to send any contact, along with full device compatibility. If you’re an iPhone based networker, it’s definitely worth the money (and they have a free one too). Download the app here.

There’s also a little video about it where you can hear my friend Gabe on the voiceover.

So a lot has been said lately about what the next revision of Silicon Alley should look like.

Silicon Alley 1.0: The first Silicon Alley can best be characterized by ritzy parties and Jason Calacanis and Alley Reporter. (Props go out to Alan Brody, Courtney Pulitzer, Alan Meckler, Jonathan Sarno etc…) … the end of Alley 1.0 can best be seen by the demise of NYMNA.

Silicon Alley 2.0: The second generation of Silicon Alley has been a grassroots resurgence and a relative flight of capital which can be summarized through the guise of Scott Heiferman and Tech Meetup. A lot less money going around the community and a lot more grass roots organizations and events.

Silicon Alley 3.0 So now that Tech Meetup is about to change hands and take on potentially a new identity, we need to ask ourselves, what is NYC really missing?

I think we should look at the parallels of the internet industry as a whole as a guide for what our community should look like. I started talking about this a month back at the Web 3.0 Conference that I co-produced for Jupiter Media and what my opinion of the internet is that Web 1.0 was the creation of the tools to push content, Web 2.0 brought community around content and Web 3.0 will be about understanding what we’ve already created - the synthesis of Web 1.0 & Web 2.0.

For our community what does it mean? We already have all the primary resources we need to take our community a step forward.

We have plenty of people. The meetup has 7500 people and I would say there is an additional 7,500 people spread out across all the other groups. The mass firings from the financials will only add to the pool of people willing to jump into a startup.

We have capital. Despite, the markets crash and VC belt tightening, there is capital. Yes, It’s not easy to tap into but there is capital out there. I am part of a new Angel Network that is launching and will be actively engaging with the community to finance the latest slate of great ideas. However, we need the venture community to step up as a whole and make themselves accessible to entrepreneurs and provide feedback. I suggested previously setting up neutral grounds and allowing VC’s to host open office hours with anyone who wants to come in, either to pitch a few at a time or one fund and get some real in your face feedback. This will hopefully help focus entrepreneurs early on.

I would suggest starting another event: What’s your idea? Where we allow people 2 minutes to pitch an idea to a panel for 5 minutes of rapid fire feedback. The goal is to help focus on entrepreneurs before they’ve spent their life savings. The Hatchery’s last event was a great start.

We have community. We have 30 or so organizations that produce community events. We have Garys Guide providing event listings.

We have successful entrepreneurs. We have a lot of entrepreneurs and successful entrepreneurs. We have a number of finance guys that have been around the block as well. Most people don’t need a lot of advice. They really need an hour every few weeks for someone to tell them how full of shit they are and to force them to focus and execute. Advice coming from successful people give advice credibility. Advice on specific topics such as marketing, legal etc… is really another issue.

What are we missing?

1. A funnel so people know where to go for what
2. Access to advice.
3. Openness

What can we fix?

Meetup is the default starting place for most people in the community but it’s unclear where to go from there. My premise is to make the path from Meetup to the rest of the community clear, turning it into a funnel and formal central resource. None of what I list below requires much more additional resources that what is already being spent in the community right now. It’s a matter of organization it.

a. Organization. Create a directory of people and service providers and allow anyone to leave comments and ratings on them. (Perhaps simply referring people to Garys Guide to solve this)

b. Intimacy. Using half of meetup time to encourage people to meet in small groups where everyone can say “What they have to offer” and “what they need” - i have used this format successfully many times and it gets people to open up and try to help each other - to try to make the large meetup a little smaller. Also, bring back announcements and allow people to make 30 second announcements.

c. Access. Encourage the creation of new meetups, integration of existing meetups or partner with NYSIA, SIIA and existing groups so that we have focused OFFICIAL listservs and groups where people can come looking for developers, cofounders, capital, legal advice, marketing advice etc… - in theory there are meetups that so all of this - it needs to be organized into a process so people can come to the site and know to go to this place or that and promote the subgroups at the main one so people who add value can easily join and help people and get engaged.

d. Openness. The community needs to be more open and connected with the rest of nyc and make it easier for entrepreneurs to provide access to capital. VC’s should be more open, provide more feedback and engage the community a lot closer. Perhaps it is partnering with VIANY, NYCVC and the litany of angel groups in the area and making it easier for people to know who to talk to for what. We also need to make in roads with the ad industry and also the corporate community to bring monetization (advertising & enterprise) and exit (corp development) to the table. This could simply be offering promotion and making sure there is an open relationship between various parties so information and connections flow.

e. Community Support. We need to engage the City of New York to get them involved in the community. One small grant can pay for a small staff to oversee turning our ad-hoc community into an organized force creating even more jobs in NYC. It would also be about organizing political lobbying trips to push the agenda forward. We have people doing this already but its’ not necessarily representative of the entire ecosystem.

So i’ve been working on helping build the community here for about 2.5 years. I’ve done it through my blog, 20+ events, conferences etc… and if you think about it, what have i accomplished? Nothing.

And there’s a very good reason for that - NYC is NYC, it is the hub for the world and its anonymous fort at the same time. NYC is not a community, it is a connection of groups. SV is a community. The only thing there is in the valley is a community around tech and so that’s the spirit of the place. NYC’s spirit is that it is the hub for disenfranchised masses and thus has no focus - nor likely will it ever.

There are 2 things needed to make our community have more teeth.

1. The investment community needs to actually connect with entrepreneurs.

It doesn’t right now. Not even close. In NYC, the venture association is VIANY (which Danny is on the board of) - VIANY does not do any events connecting its members with the entrepreneurial community. None. Now let’s look everywhere else. In LA, there is LAVA who does a lot of events connecting all sides. In the MIdAtlantic, there is MAVA, which has a tough job bringing together people from a myriad of places and does a good job. Both LAVA & MAVA supported my latest conference and I have a good relationship with both. VIANY did not despite numerous attempts at outreach. In the valley there are several organizations connecting everyone, the one that comes to mind the quickest is SVASE which has 10,000 entrepreneurs as members. They have more events than I can swallow and offer up their curriculum and coaching to people in other areas that want to develop the community. Guy Kawasaki did a road show across the world promoting it earlier in the year. What does NY have? Nothing. No one from the investment community has taken a lead at building the community. LAVA & MAVA are run by people in the investment community. SVASE has Guy, whose probably the most well known VC in the country. Who does NYC have?

The only person that really comes to mind for trying is Owen Davis at NYC Seed…he is in the right position to try and I absolutely love what he’s doing. But it takes more than that. It takes an ecosystem. It needs someone to step up and really build an organization bringing people together.

We have a number of organizations that try - NYSIA, SIIA, The Hatchery, NEXTNY (sorry Charlie), Connectors Group all have potential to do it but again, it’s a full time focused job to build a community. It just takes one person with the right drive and some support. Who wants to volunteer to lead the community? Without someone taking the reigns, it just won’t work. Why? I’ll borrow from my mentors book on this - most F500 companies use Open Source code. Most never check all of the code and are open to security breaches and end up fixing them after the fact - after the mess. An open source community works to a point but leaves a lot of big gaping holes. David Rose is trying to do this and he has a really great setup and structure going but it needs to go further.

I try - if you look at my events, we have as many cosponsoring organizations as guests sometimes but that only is a teeny tiny step - it needs to be someone in the investor side of the community and it needs to be someone to wear the mantle, not just support the cause.

Now, supporting the infrastructure needs to be better access to capital and more light on the process of raising it. We have tons of wealthy people in the tristate area who are in fact investors. We have in NYC, a number of angel groups (NY Angels, Golden Seeds, Connectors Group, Ivyplus) and several other organizations involved such as ASTIA. We have for the first time in a decade a number of seed investors in town. Owen & NYCIF at NYC Seed, Betaworks, Solidea, David Rose and his empire, Gil at Genacast, some of the former Quigo guys, Mike Walrath and Brian O’kelley from right media making investments, Esther Dyson & Jeff Pulver angel investing their eyes out, and going a step further we have the guys at First Round in PA. I remember talking to Owen a couple years ago when he was trying to raise what became NYCseed and he was worried if he could find enough companies to fund. And you know what - it’s really tough, there isn’t a lot of good ideas in nyc - because the ecosystem doesn’t support it - good ideas go to the valley. Lazer focused and advertising driven money making ideas tend to be in nyc. Good companies are built in NYC but not transformational companies. There isn’t enough support for transformational ideas here at the early stages. There just isn’t.

Here’s what I would do to jumpstart it - get together a small angel group and invite the 30 or so funds in town to come. Set up an office hours once a week where anyone can come in and pitch for 5 minutes. The good ideas then go out to the mailing list of everyone else and slowly but surely we have a central funnel where entrepreneurs know where to go for capital and an angel group supporting the infrastructure where there is a real chance of raising seed capital. In theory this is the NY Angels but they don’t actually make seed investments. A central resource is the key to organization. Open source is great if you can borrow components but did you know that most F500 companies use a lot of open source and that most F500 don’t know all the security holes in the code they have. There needs to be someone checking the code.

Looking beyond the centralizing access to capital. Let’s look a bit further …. there is no central mentor network (not that i know of) in NYC connecting successful serial entrepreneurs and investors with everyone else. Sure, you can pitch a VC and even build a relationship but that doesn’t mean there is an open channel of communication where you aren’t prejudged by the first version of your work in progress when in reality the core is looking for advice. Everyone pre-judges on first impression - yes - but the key is to formally set up the process of helping rather than asking as a one off. There is a reason for HS and College Guidance counselors. As much as we hated them, they served a very important purpose. Everyone needs someone to tell them they are full of shit from time to time and to help them get on the right track - not just tell them they are full of shit, close the door and say “come back when you’re no longer full of shit - maybe i’ll answer your emails then”….

Okay, say now have open communication and access to capital and advice from the seed stages on…what’s next? Well in the valley there is an ecosystem of big tech companies that buy everyone else or create channel partnerships and the like. In NYC, there is no ecosystsem, sure they are people that can do it but no structure. What does that take to accomplish this? Someone starting to do events and create a group to bring people together. We have SIIA, NYISA, The Hatchery all trying in some way but there needs to be greater outreach and it needs to go to every F1000 company with an office here and make the simple pitch “interested in new tech and potential acquisitions?” - well come on down, at least get on our email list so you know where to look. Most big companies don’t even know where to look until an investment banker shows it to them 3 years later. That process needs to change. The key to the city is that it is the worlds’ HQ. Why is it that when i go to just about any event in our “community” I see less than 1% of the audience representing all of these big companies?

What does centralizing information allow? A funnel and the ability to easily build buzz because you can reach the whole system in one click. That should be the goal. One Click New York.

That’s my 2 cents painfully learned from the last few years of trying to do this. It’s not even hard or very expensive. I’d say it requires someone stepping up, writing a $1MM check, getting a real driving force in the investment community and one person from the entrepreneurial side and one person from corp america behind it and then do it. Centralize the process so there is a funnel effect and at least so people know where to go for the first step.

So who wants to step up to the plate?

I’m the first volunteer to help whoever does.

Richie

So recently i’ve been talking to one of my old partners that decided to go to law school - of course he’s not going to be a lawyer - it was just a break for him - he’s going into a new startup but he asked me how I built up my network … let me quote him below…

“you have that advantage as you are in NYC ….. do you just randomly email people and be like “lets have lunch” , what do you do?

btw, i spent a solid 20 minutes on bootstrapper, i’m impressed buddy, i’m kinda glad that the world is being exposed to your mind, in all its eccentricities ;)”

Now the second half of that quote is clearly an ego boost for me but let’s focus on the first half. Do I do just email people and ask them to lunch? Sometimes. It actually works. Ask people you admire if you can buy them a cup of coffee because you look up to them. 1/3 times someone will likely say yes. Of course if you come off like a stalker - they will say no. But be simple and polite and it could work.

I usually meet people via my network and friends but probably meet one new person a month just by reaching out cold. When I do, I always do so on neutral ground when I can and never try to do business with the person, I try to learn and see If i can help them. Then, people are more likely to try to help you - if you provide value first.

To conclude, simply asking people for coffee or a drink can be all you need to get your feet off the ground … and running…

So I would like to make a distinction in our initial relationships are formed. Most people talk about a first impression, I talk about it in terms of a First Touch Experience. An impression is a brief hello. A First Touch Experience is the first time you really interacted. You could have briefly met at a party or event but not really talked - and while first impressions “mean everything” they really don’t. A poor first impression can be corrected with a solid first touch experience. Next time you meet someone new, think for a second as to why you are meeting them and what you are talking about. Are you selling something? Selling yourself? or creating meaningful experience? A conversation is a meaningful experience, so is sharing a laugh, telling someone for 6 minutes about your widget is not. Make sure the first time you experience someone you consciously are aware of the experience. Don’t focus on collecting business cards or making a suave impression. Focus on what that person takes away from the overall experience. Do you really want someone to leave an encounter thinking your a suave salesman? Or would you rather leave that person with them having an experience and wanting more?

So I posted yesterday a blog version of my speech from the Web 2 Meetup. I’ve had a few requests for a simplified version of it so here goes:

The Art of Building Relationships: AKA Networking vs. Picking up Chics … AKA Business vs. Bed Development

The key to life is building relationships. Most people are not good at building relationships so I’m going to talk about the 3 principles of building great relationships and show how all relationships whether Business, Personal or Sexual are really the same. We build them the same ways, the end game is just different but getting to the end zone is exactly the same. People are people.

These principles are about building long term relationships, not short term relationships. If you’re goal is a one night stand or a churn and burn sale then stop reading now. If you’re goal is to build longlasting strong relationships then read on …

The key to successfully using my 3 principles are first and foremost being SINCERE. If you are not sincere in our socially networked world - you will be found out and you will destroy your relationships. Next, you must have confidence and be relaxed. Without confidence people won’t want to be around you and if you aren’t relaxed you may scare people, overwhelm them or just miss the cues & clues going on around you.

The biggest inhibitor to building relationships is that people are naturally scared of people they just met trying to screw them, either in business or sexually. People are scared of being screwed over so the core of my principles are that they will help you build trust and break down the false walls that we set around ourselves.

Now for the 3 principles:

1) Primary Context

2) Separating the people from the product

3) Offer Perceived Value

The first principle is achieving a strong and positive Primary Context. Primary Context is how, where, through whom and under what circumstances you meet someone. There is a huge difference between approaching a girl cold at a bar and getting invited to a private party and being introduced to her by her BFF who says “you are the best guy in the world” when she makes the intro. In business, it’s the difference between meeting someone cold at an open access networking event vs. meeting someone at a private dinner and getting introduced by the host as someone worth talking to. A personal introduction in a private environment is worth meeting 100 people cold. In the world of venture capital, this is why people “in network” of the companies and people they are friends with are taking 10X more seriously than people that send in business plans cold. Making sure your Primary Context is strong is very important to breaking down the barriers and making people want to get to know you opposed to being scared they are going to get screwed. (Maybe, now they want you too!

2) Separating the Person From the Product: The key to this is to remove the person from their existing environment. Ask questions, don’t speak and definitely don’t sell. People love to talk and hate to listen. This is true for women and its true for men. People love venting. Ask people about their goals and dreams and separate them from the present. The average person would rather dream then be in reality, enable that thought process! Don’t ask someone what they do right now - ask someone what they wish they were doing right now? How is this helpful? Say you were hitting on a girl and you guys don’t click, if you were focused on the immediate transaction, then the odds are your relationship will end right there but if you had a conversation and separating her from the present, even if it doesn’t work with you two, maybe she’ll introduce you to her friends. In business, say you two aren’t a fit to work together right now. If you approached the situation with the goal of doing a deal and it doesn’t work - the relationship is over. If however, you’ve built a real relationship, maybe they’ll introduce you to someone else who could be a client. Separate the person from the situation. And please do not ask someone what they do before asking someone their name - that is a transactional action that will not make people want to be around you - instead ask someone what brings them there and where they would rather be and what they would like to be doing…

3) Offer Perceived Value: There is now to actually offer value since value is subjective and in the eye of the beholder but you need to tailor your value to your prospect and make sure to offer them something they want. This could be that you are hot, this could be that you are funny, this could be that you are good in bed,  that you have access to money, are a marketing guru, have a big network, host the events etc… You need to offer something of EXTREME value. Say the girl loves Justin TImberlake - value is not taking her to dinner at his restaurant - anyone can do that. Value is taking her there and getting her introduced to Justin Timberlake. Offer something no one else can in their eyes.

Conclusion:

If you are successful with these 3 principles you will make People Your Promoters and achieve true worth of mouth marketing. The toughest part about word of mouth marketing is how to seed it and these principles will build strong relationships so people talk about you and spread your good word for you.

Case in point: While I rehearsing my speech, a friend of mine who we will call Debbie grabbed me, pulled me aside and said “Richie, I have to introduce to my friend”.  This wasn’t on cue - she was so excited to introduce me to her friend that she said to pull me out of my conversation to do it. This is about as good of word of mouth marketing as you can get. She “HAD” to introduce me…and now her friend is my facebook friend too

What do I do? So this is how I accomplish all of the principles and build great relationships… First I only attend events where I am the host or I’m personally invited to the event (and preferably friends with the host). When I meet people, I try to rely on introductions from others and when I talk to people I never tell people what I do, instead I ask them about themselves, why they are there, where they would rather be and what their goals and dreams are, I then offer advice about how they can accomplish those goals and make a bunch of introductions for them. So I had strong primary context, started a conversation about goals and never mentioned a “transaction” and offered value in the form of my advice and introductions. And if you want to know if it works - just ask anyone who knows me what they think of me … the odds are they will be my biggest promoter

So this is the written version of the speech I gave last week at the Web 2.0 Meetup in front of a couple of hundred people. I was asked by a few people for a copy of it and since I didn’t actually have a written speech, I figured I’d do a post recapping it from my head.

The Art of Building Relationships (AKA: Networking Vs. Picking up Chics, AKA: Business VS. Bed Development)

The key to building relationships is being conscious of your surroundings and self-actualizing (according Maslow) what you do. All relationships are the same whether its in business or personal or sexual. The way we build relationships doesn’t change - just the application of the principles. What I’m about to do is cover the 3 key components to building relationships so that you can do more business, build better friendships and find yourself the love of your life.

A buddy of mine that lectures at MIT always says that MIT students have a tendency to have the largest cubicle but never the corner office. This is because they generally are engineers and not engaged enough socially and at the end of the day - the leader is usually the social one that understands how to intelligently work with the people around him, even if he is not the smartest person himself.

Before, I mention the 3 principles, I would like to take a second and explain why in my mind most people are not inclined to immediately trust each other. The average person is scared that everyone they meet is going to screw them, either literally (sexually) , figuratively (in business) or both. This is a subconscious distrust that is inherent in human nature. The goal of building relationships is feeling comfortable around each other so you’re not worried about being screwed. If you can make people trust you, then you’ve achieved something very valuable.

Note these tactics require being sincere, in a socially networked world if you are not transparent you will be caught. Sure, you may get lucky but it won’t last beyond a night stand or a churn and burn sale. If your goal is either of those then this post is not for you.

Next, it’s important to have confidence and be relaxed. If you aren’t confident nothing will work because people want to be around confident people and if you are not relaxed, you’ll miss things and not be able to actualize and realize what’s going on around you. So assuming you are sincere, confident and relaxed (and I know that’s a lot to ask, here are 3 principles of building relationships, making more money and landing the girl or guy of your dreams.

Now the 3 principles are: 1) Primary Context 2) Separating the people from the product 3) Offer Perceived Value. So what do these principles actually mean?

1) Primary Context: Primary context is the holistic situation around how you meet a person. How you got to place where you met, through whom you met the person, your first impression, your first touch experience etc… Most people just think about a first impression when in reality that is only a tiny piece of the pie. It is important to meet people in the best situation as possible. For example, if you are at a private invite only event and get introduced to someone by the host it is far more valuable and you have a far better chance of building a relationship then meeting someone at an open access party cold. In a dating scenario, would you rather the hostess of an exclusive party introduce you to the birthday girl, her BFF as the most incredible person in the world or would you rather meet someone cold at a bar. It’s a no brainer.

After the initial introduction, the way you come off, your mannerisms, your speech, your dress, the first time you make a connection (not just an impression) with a person are all important and part of primary context. The goal is to create the best Primary Context for yourself as possible.

What do I do? I generally only attend events where I’m the host or where I’m friends with the host. Then I go over to the host and ask them who I should meet and ask them to make an introduction. That gives me instant credibility or I’m the host then I’m the center of attention. Everyone always wants to surround the host and I’ve written before about the Host Halo Effect where no matter what if it’s a good event, the host comes off as king. If this is a personal scenario, I will go to the person throwing the party and say “introduce me to your friends”. Then I will proceed to be me and hope I can charm people with my sincerity, intelligence, humor etc… Remember, it’s not about impressions its about Primary Context.

2) Separate the people from the product: one of the biggest mistakes people make is that they talk about themselves and try to sell things before they build a relationships. This is called business card whoring. You know what I’m talking about. Most people go around and saying “Hi, I’m Richie, can I have your wallet?” and of course you’re not naturally inclined to give it. A lot of times I see people ask what someone does before asking their name. Personally, I try starting a conversation before asking a persons name because the best chance you have at creating a great First Touch Experience is before you even know their name. While you are still mysterious, you have the chance of greatest impact. When people meet each other they make a split second decision of whether they like the person (both personally and sexually) and in general I’d rather have that person intrigued and interested before telling them who I am. That’s an advanced technique, however, the simple solution is to ask questions, get to know someone, make them laugh, offer insight etc… instead of telling people what you do. What you want to do is separate the person from the product they are selling, separate the person from their day to day reality. Ask someone if they are happy, what are their goals, dreams etc… and allow them to dream. If you allow people to dream, they think of how you can help them accomplish their dreams, which is far more valuable then how you can help them today. People want a reason to escape reality - not a reminder that you are there to sell them something. And if you’ve ever listened to a female speak, it’s pretty clear they like when guys ask them questions and listen. In fact, men like talking too! One of the best ways to get a love interest to like you is simply to ask questions and let them speak. No one really cares what you have to say

How do I do it? I never sell anything.  I rarely ever volunteer how we can work together before getting to know the person. I simply talk and carry a conversation. I always ask people about their goals and dreams and where they want to be. People know where they are right now, they don’t need to be reminded but 9/10 people would love to talk about where they want to be. And I never ask people what they can do for me, in fact most people don’t even know what I do

3) Offer Perceived Value: Now this is the hardest and most elusive of the 3 principles. I know it’s not easy but you must actually offer people value. Now, there is no way to guarantee to offer value since value is subjective and you can’t control what people value but you need to offer that specific person someone that they value. It may be worthless to you but something that they value. Value could be your sexy, you’re pretty, you’ve got a great body, you can dance, you’re a connector, you’re an investor, you have access to people, you always know the good parties etc… you offer something that someone wants. If you don’t, then sorry, what value do you offer that that person actually wants to talk to you again. And please don’t tell me how your widget is amazing and that’s the only value you offer. The most valuable perceived value intangible things, stuff people remember not just use.

How do I do it? I have a policy that I will spend a half hour talking to anyone about anything. Whether its a business issue or personal or reviewing someones startup or helping someone rewrite a resume - I will spend a half hour with anyone. Personally, I’m flattered they value me and happy to lend a hand. I do this for free and generally volunteer my help before people even ask. And if the person is legitimate and I think may be able to offer me perceived value in the future, I will make introductions. I will make introductions without strings attached and usually I will make dead on introductions and more than one. People don’t value one introduction. If you are going to make introductions, make multiple - overwhelm the senses with your perceived value. Now I give people my time and open up my network without asking for anything and usually without even people knowing what I do. I ask and offer help before telling people about me. In fact, most people don’t even know what I do. Why do I do it? Because one day when I need something these people will be there for me and volunteer to help. Contrary to popular opinion, most intelligent people don’t actually like free things and are inclined to ask “how can i help you back?”. Most people naturally aren’t inclined to help but if you help them first without asking for anything, they naturally are inclined to go out of their general nature and try to help you back.

Now, if you’re successful with these 3 principles then People will Become Your Promoters! You will trigger word of mouth  marketing on a level so strong, that your initial relationships will be great and every person you are introduced to will instantly trust you and want to get to know you. Word of Mouth Marketing is great but you need to Seed it - this is the best way to seed it by building relationships with people who then become your greatest marketers.

Now as I rehearsing my speech, one of my friends, who we will call Debbie B. proved my entire speech. I was diligently going through it and she ran over to me, grabbed my arm, pulled me aside and introduced me to one of her friends. She wanted to introduce me to her friend so badly that had to take me out of whatever I was doing to make the intro. Now that’s amazing Primary Context with meeting her friend and shows how strong of a relationship that I have with Debbie B. In fact, I ended my speech by saying “to prove my point, I want to share a story with everyone of what happened while I was rehearsing my speech, Debbie B. can you share a few words?” And Debbie B. took a mic, stood up and shared the story….then afterwards Debbie apologized to me for not saying enough because she “wanted to say so much more about how amazing I’ve been to her and didn’t want to take the spotlight.” No joke. This happened.

Now, to conclude, Good Luck and Good Relationships.

This cannot be understressed: network, network, network.  If you’re going to start a business, then you’re going to need a lot of friends and a lot of people that want you to succeed.  So who should you network with?  Absolutely everyone that you can find.  There is no one so dumb that you can’t learn something from them. That’s pretty much all I have to say about that! 

So I just got back from the Richmondevents.com Super Cruise. I was planning on blogging live but I didn’t have wireless internet on the ship and instead I got to live like a normal human being without phone, fax or email. It was friggin amazing! I highly recommend detox’ing yourself. It’s refreshing.

The cruise itself was great. It was the CIO Forum, Marketing Forum, HR & Logistics Forums all rolled into one. The way Richmond works is the delegate (buyer) is free to attend as long as they have a multi-million dollar annual budget and the suppliers pay between $20,000-100,000 to be on the ship. The whole event is based around double optin one on one meetings so buyers get to meet suppliers they may want to work with and suppliers get 30-40 meetings with potential clients all once. It’s a super networking event. It also happened to have been the friendliest biz event I ever attended. Everyone was nice and friendly and just looking to make friends. Really cool environment. Also, the food was amazing and the hot tub very nice.

Richmond even ports in these lovely British chics to stand outside of rooms and look pretty (seriously). They are there to be eye candy. No good event is complete without trade show models with British accents. Did I say, I love British Accents.

To Roger, Joel, Shane and co…kudos on a great event. Also, the founder of Richmond, Marc looks like the head doctors on Scrubs.

Some interviews will follow in the next couple of days as I post them up…

Hey so I’ll be press on richmondevents.com cruise this week. It is a cruise with 4 C level events going on. There is the Chief Marketing Officers Forum, Chief Information officers Forum, HR Director and another forum which I won’t name because I don’t remember it. I’ll be interviewing a lot of the attendees and throwing it up on here so expect to hear a lot of what’s happening at the top of corporate America in the coming days. Should be fun. I will be armed with my 1000 misprinted business cards!

So I got a huge compliment today. One of the guys in my office suite stopped me and said he loves my blog - BUT didn’t realize it was me that wrote it! He said he stumbled on it looking for Seth Godin’s BootStrappers Guide Book and loved the folksy manner of this blog - but it didn’t realize for a couple of days that I was the Rich Hecker who worked in the office with him. This is to me is the biggest compliment I’ve ever gotten on this blog. Thank you!  On a side note, 2 years ago, back before anyone really new me in nyc tech (does anyone really know me now?) I was at my very first NY Tech Meetup and Sanford said “hey, i recognize you, I love your www.richhecker.com animated site. That was super cool too.  That was a fun meetup, I ended up out to dinner with Scott Hieferman and 10 other people afterwards. Good times. 

So I was at a panel event that Howard did for NYSIA tonight and I was thinking…do we have any real power brokers in nyc tech? This of course led me to think of the Alley Insider list and also the Peoples’ Choice list which I proudly can say - I came in 5th. My answer is a big fat resounding NO. I don’t think there are any real power brokers in NYC tech - potentially one. So let’s look at what defines a power broker: according to American Heritage Dictionary, 

power broker or pow·er·brok·er   (pou’ər-brō’kər)  n.   A person who exerts strong political or economic influence, especially by virtue of the individuals and votes he or she controls. Then also we have to look at the Seminole Tome “Power Broker” about the life of Robert Moses. Robert Moses if you don’t know controlled and built NYC, he manipulated every mayor and governor for decades and is responsible for most of the bridges and roads in NY. He controlled power. So who controls the power in NYC tech? Is it the entrepreneurs? For the most part no - one mention of the word financing by someone and they usually become sheep.Is it the serial entrepreneurs? Nope. There’s not enough of them and most are too focused on their own startup to exert influence. Is it the investors? Not really, there’s really only one investor NYC that really has the reach and consumer influence and that’s Fred Wilson of course - but he’s one VC and is doing deals for his own firm. David Rose potentially with NY Angels and Angel Soft. Is it the connectors and event hosts? While I’m friends with most of them and am one myself, I don’t think any of us really wield a stick - though we do control a lot of information or deal flow in investor speak, it’s not in a way to really “CONTROL” the market.  Is it the tech analyst’s and bankers like the first time around? Not really. Who can actually name an ibank analyst these days? Which ibankers are known as tech/dot commers? not really anyone in NYC.In theory Scott Hieferman could be one, but he really doesn’t exert his influence beyond his meetup (he could if he chose too). Kevin Ryan is probably the closest thing to it as he has the track record, basically invented the industry that underpins web2 and runs a news service but still we are left with only a handful of people and out of them no one that really controls the underpinnings of our tech society. We have influencers not power brokers. So is there a problem with that? NO! That means anyone can get something done

So i went to the gym tonight for the first time in 2 weeks and figured I’d need a rush so I bought an energy drink - one I had never tried before - RedLine - one of the guys warned me it’s like RedBull X5 so i took it anyway… didn’t effect me for about 40 minutes - until I was leaving the gym, then got drymouth and now feel like a rat on speed - super jittery, hyperactive, wide awake and want to run 100 miles. Luckily, I don’t have my shoes on so I don’t think I’ll go running in the dark and trip over my own feet moving too fast. But a warning - watch out for those energy drinks - sheesh. I had trouble sleeping all week and was like a zombie, reminded me of high school all over again. But tonight, wow, I’m going crazy and thus the many blog posts.

While i’m in this hyper attentive state, I figured I’d muse on the NYC tech/finance scene. Lately, I’ve been lucky enough to get in deep in the community, the alley 2.0 so to speak and count among my friends most of the people that throw events in our great city. Interestingly enough, I started throwing events so I ended up friends with the people that do. Probably is subconsciously intentional. What i’ve realized, is that everyone that has started events in the last year or so fits the same profile, overambitious bootstrapper trying to get ahead and not quite sure why they are throwing events yet know people appreciate them and they are doing well. Also, most of the events, don’t make much money. Some do, most don’t, which is something most attendees don’t realize. Small events such as happy hours and the like don’t make bank - big events like conferences bring home the Bacon though.

Along those lines, people are insulted sometimes when they are charged to go to small events - thinking its charity that someone is spending time & money planning events and also putting their reputation on the line. I mean, it’s very risky throwing events for your reputation. If you throw one bad event you can lose your whole audience. It’s much easier just to be in the crowd and attend, then there’s no risk. For example, I cohost a happy hour series, www.startuphappy.com and we charge $10/$20 at the door.

Someone got angry at me for charging and basically attacked me for charging. First off, we have a bar gaurantee and at startup/investor events no one drinks so we lose money at the bar - quite a bit. Our first Happy Hour lost $1500 - out of a $2000 gaurantee, only $500 was spent across 80 people. The cover helps us break even. We don’t profit from the events - it would be nice though to make a few bucks for the time and reputation risk put in but it’s okay, I have a long term view of building my network and helping people. But just something to keep in mind is that most events actually lose money - few make any money next time you bitch about a cover. If you’re unhappy about it - simply don’t attend or throw your own.

Now, I don’t want to sound like I’m ranting which I suppose I am but it can be frustrating sometimes. I love hosting events and helping people so it’s worthwhile and I hope some good comes out of my events. I’ve also noticed that the more you charge for an event, the more people appreciate it. I suspect it is a level of subconscious belief that because it is expensive, it is good and okay to charge.

I have a bunch of cool events in planning and love helping out with other peoples’ events. I feel in the long run being in the center of the network, the crux of the information flow has its merits. It builds a lot of goodwill and goodwill is important for a scrappy up and comer like me that wants to succeed. Sure, i’ve had my successes & failures in the past but I’m up for another go around. Got lots of stuff in the fire and it seems no matter how much I want to focus, I end up involved in more and more projects. Hopefully, I’ll be able to force myself to focus properly in the next few weeks and I give it a go for my next (hopefully) big thing.

Wow, i’m all over the place tonight. Reminder to self - never drink RedLine again - never.

When you start going to events you start seeing a lot of people over and over again. Considering how small our nyc startup community is, you really can’t afford to screw around unless you are a hermit. If you’re social, everyone gets to know you so far. I mean, come on, how many people are really in this community? Not many. My benchmark is the 5000 on the tech meetup list but most people there are enthusiasts not startuppers or investors. Let’s crunch some numbers.

There is maybe 15 vc funds in nyc, average fund has 6 employees = 90 investors, add in ibankers and other related people that focus on seed stage and maybe we’re at 200, now add in professional angels and we’re at maybe 500 investors. Maybe there is 300 tech companies in nyc, each with 2 founders and 300 people that are top execs so we’re up to 1400 people. Let’s add in random other top tier people and we’re up to 2000. now split that in half as half the people on there are anti-social so we’re left with maybe 1000 people. Now divide that by 10 networking groups and the average has an event once a month, the average person goes to one event a month and 50 people show at the average event, we keep running into each other.

I have good feelings for the community here as a number of organizations are sprouting up and being supported. YVCS.org relaunched and is doing very well. The Hatchery launched a few months ago and is doing very well. My little group is taking off. Tri State Ventures just relaunched. All these groups are thriving. for years there was almost nothing going on and a lot of the original groups are gone - the long standing one being ibreakfast but the guard and tides are changing in a very positive way.