Bootstrapper.com - Confessions of Serial Entrepreneurs

Most people don’t understand what networking really is. To most networking is going to a conference and getting to meet everyone on the floor for 30 seconds, shake a hand, collect a card. This is wrong!

A couple of reasons: first, most people won’t remember you, second if they do, you’ve done nothing to build a relationship and the odds are you offered no value - add to them.

I call these people Hyper Networkers - they come off like leeches circling an entire group sucking a card out of everyone.

The professional networker takes a different approach. First, his goal is to get to know the host, not the speakers, THE HOST and then to offer something of value to the host - maybe volunteer to help at the next event or refer him a speaker or something to that tune. The professional networker doesn’t ask for anything in return. He knows that by getting on the good side of the host - a connector - he can reach the entire group - with a personal introduction.

Would you rather meet someone in the audience out of the blue or be introduced by the host? Which looks better for you?

Let’s dig a little further, say the host is crazy, greedy or just not around - what do you do? You meet people. You talk to people. You have a CONVERSATION with people, you TRY TO AVOID TALKING ABOUT BUSINESS as much as possible. Why? As soon as a conversation slips to be about how you can work together, you’ve lost the ability to build a relationship for the moment because you’ve both slipped into greed mode and your guards are up and minds racing with dollars.

When I meet people, I try to avoid talking about myself and what i really do or my real goals. If it’s an investor I will try HARD not to pitch them on anything even if they ask and if they insist i will be coy and change topics. If its a business development deal, I will allude to possibilities but not go into any specifics and maybe ask about the persons lunch. Nothing is worse than turning a good conversation into a purposeful conversation when you first meet people - at least if you are like me and pride yourself on building relationships. Relationships are the reason you get asked to go to drinks, it’s the reasons to get invited to go to parties, they are the reason people talk to you. Unless your ass is being kissed but then those people won’t show up to your funeral when all those feet up your ass cause a heart attack.

When it comes to meeting new clients, i first ask them about themselves and their passions and what they really want to do before talking about anything about business when possible.

I would much rather learn what someone’s passion is or aspirations then how “we can work together”. Why? A) You can actually get into a real conversation and maybe even make a friend (GASP) but in truth when you ask people what they want to do (as long as they don’t say its what they are currently doing), you have successfully managed to separate that person from his or her job and got the person to completely let their guard down.

Think about this - would you want your boss to find out that you really want to start a XYZ widget bangers and that you secretly hate your job? Of course not! But now that the person has shared this with you, you are now on the inside. They are not going to think nearly as critically about you and will be more likely to help you and it will be a lot easier to build a relationship. Try it out for yourself. Better yet if you can put yourself in a situation where you could potentially help people achieve their personal goals - you’ve just struck gold. Like when I introduce myself to people, I first say that i love helping people start companies, on my business card it says “helping people fulfill their dreams” - then i can go into my day job (running an online ad company) and they will be truly curious because i first offered potential value to them before asking for anything in return.

Another very important part of networking is listening, let people talk. Ask questions, don’t try to pitch or sell yourself. NO one cares. No one wants to be sold, they want to be heard. Listen to people, it works with women to by the way. I”m not talking about the sensitive guy shtick that guarantee you get your heart broken but just plain listening. Girls love to lalk, (i’ll address this in my next post.) People love to talk about themselves. Just ask probing questions like “howd you end up where you are now?” Do you like your job? What’s your dream? When you out of the suit and tie, what do you do to relax? These are great open ended questions that people will usually fervently answer and think well of you for asking.

Always ADD VALUE. Offer people help before asking them for something. In fact if you OFFER value without provocation - there is a good chance they will bend over backwards to reciprocate without even realizing. YOu meet someone, introduce them to a few people that could help them. No one does this. The few people who do are the connectors - the professional networkers - the power players - the people that everyone aggregates around - better yet the people who others call when they need advice. Nothing is sweeter than to be needed and to really be able to help people. Karma works. Karma fucking works.

Networking today is flawed.

Most events are flawed.

Most events are boring.

Most events are a waste of time.

Why?

Take for example an investor panel. You have 4 investors on a panel and 40 entrepreneurs in the audience. The panel lasts 2 hours, followed by Q&A, followed by every entrepreneur going over to every investor shaking his or her hand and asking for money. The investor usually says “sounds interesting” or “no” or “ok”, no real feedback is provided in those 20 second and often times the investors feels / looks annoyed being approached.

Let me go further.

The entrepreneur doesn’t give a shit what the panel has to say. He really doesn’t. He doesn’t want to hear about how you turned a $2MM investment into $100MM. He doesn’t want to hear how you fucked up investing in pets.com. (except maybe because then he may think you’re dumb enough to invest in his bad idea)

The entrepreneur wants to find out 3 things:
1) How can i get the investors attention?
2) How can i get a meeting with the investor?
3) How can I get the investors money?

Does the panel serve any of these purposes? No.

Now let’s look at what the investor wants…
1) Network with his peers
2) occassionally meet a smart entrepreneur to invest in

What he doesn’t want it a hoard of gold diggers looking for cash.

The standard panel networking format does not help anyone. It is a waste of time - though you can still meet people and I still go to them - i just disagree with them.

A VC friend of mine always says “Always appeal to the lowest common denominator” no one cares how fancy your tech is if its too complicated for them to use it.

So what’s the solution?

Now this is a shameless plug for my own investor networking events - however I DARE you to find anyone who has gone to one of them that doesn’t love it.

Have a quick speaker or two make a simple speech on a specific topic. Limit it to 5 minutes per speaker, 1-3 speakers max. Followed by Q&A. Cut out the panel discussion no one cares about.

Then let anyone get up and give their elevator pitch to the group for FEEDBACK. PROACTIVE feedback. Let anyone there chime in with advice, questions, comments etc…max of 5 minutes per person total. Then after, if any investor is interested he can approach the person who had the idea separately after.

This way the entrepreneur gets real and quality feedback and the potential to interest investors WITHOUT pitching them directly.

This also does another thing. It allows people to build relationships. Maybe the idea is bad but because it wasn’t a straight shoot down, real advice can be given and accepted without hard feelings. Nothing kills a conversation quicker between an entrepreneur and a VC than the words “i’ll pass”.

This way the open forum serves to quality people for one another and provide real feedback and advice. it also is stress free and pitch free networking and involves no bullshit hobnobbing.

just my 2 cents…

So today I was called the “last good person” and “altruistic” but two separate people. I also left a third person (a family member) with her mouth agape when I said my networking philosophy.

What is it? Well, i’ve blogged about it before but it’s all about Karma.

Karma = doing good, adding value without asking for anything in return = GASP! you say. I say no. I say do onto others as you’d want others to do onto you. How so?

Well, when I meet people that I think are serious, I also offer myself to them and offer to help anyway I can, maybe advise on an idea or make introductions - WITHOUT them ever asking. I make unsolicited positive introductions. I also only introduce quality people to each other, well usually, we all make mistakes sometimes.

When I meet someone cool, I happily will give them free advice for a half hour and if i really like them, introduce them to potential partners or investors.

For example, I was leaving a meeting today and someone cornered me in the elevator and asked me what i do. I said I run an advertising company. He said he needed help with online advertising strategy.

I told him, “fuck online advertising - you need to build buzz.” He told me his product and in 30 seconds I came up with a very cheap and super viral marketing strategy for him that i am sure will succeed. It’s also something that has never been done. A big agency would have charged $100,000 for something i came up with in 30 seconds on the spot. Better yet, he asked me what i wanted in return, I said nothing. He was amazed.

I believe in karma. I will help anyone for a half hour that is serious and bothers to ask. Sure it kills time but you know what, that person will then offer to help me when I need it and go the extra mile, sometimes several miles. Also there’s a decent shot at building a real relationship out of it. Could I charge? Most of you will say I’m crazy for giving out so much free advice but I say, NO. I am just helping other entrepreneurs succeed. One day one of these guys will help me out and the world will be whole.

PS. As a result of my networking philosophy, I have a startup I’m working on and I have investors asking me for meetings - and I don’t even have the pitch ready yet.

Karma works.

No - not leveraging your money 100:1 to gamble on commodities and certain not leveraging the house to gamble in a casino … but leverage is extremely valuable …

Leveraging your network is very important. If you know 2 people that could use each other, make the intro, just a handoff and hope for the best and wish them Happy Networking! Even if it doesn’t work out they will thank you.

Or say you have 10 friends that are all in the same boat or same part of the industry, set up a dinner with everyone, then everyone will hopefully love it appreciate you and usually be happy to return a favor - or at least not get annoyed when you ask for a favor.

Leveraging your network to build goodwill is an extremely valuable tool that everyone should use. Avoid brokering unless you add value or if its your full time job. Make the intro’s…if a big deal is struck, hopefully they’ll send some crumbs back your way but at the least you’ve made 2 huge connections as a result and when you need help, you won’t get resistance or look or feel like a leech.

Leverage my friends, leverage your network!

1) Unless your job is a broker, never straight broker anything unless you actually add value. It’s stressful and leads to strained relationships.

2) When you meet someone you find would be a good person to know, immediately offer advice and introductions without them asking…be nice without asking for anything in return…very few people do it and it builds incredible good will and it doesn’t matter if your introductions end in a deal…it’s one of the few times intent is just as an important as result

3) If you can throw the events, then you control the power of the pulpit.

4) If you can’t/don’t want to throw the event, make yourself invaluable to host, make yourself the kingmaker and be the one to step in when there’s the issue.

5) If someone does you a favor, return it 2X

That’s pretty much it. That’s how I network and anyone that knows me knows I’m a super networker and rarely if ever ask for anything back and usually just like helping people. Helping people is the key= providing value.

Hope I’m helpful

Richie

So by now you’re probably wondering what it is?

The answer is this; be a good person.

haha. you probably think I’m kidding I’m not. the most powerful networking tactic is to volunteer yourself to do small favors for friends. They don’t have to be big, it could be as simple as saving someone a seat in a conference or showing up at their office with a bottle of wine on a glum day. be nice and people reciprocate.

To go even further, I will show you what I do. Whenever I meet anyone that i think is a serious person and a potential good connection, I voluntarily introduce them to at least 2 people and as many as 10 people - without them asking. Of course the people need to be relevant to each other but they don’t have to have a specific purpose. Say you just met an entrepreneur in Kansas, you then introduce him to another entreprenuer in Kansas. Maybe they will be friends but they will appreciate it.

What is the effect of this? Well everyone you introduce will think you are super well connected and thus when you need something will be more inclined to help you out because they think you will be valuable to them in the future? Everyone loves you and it doesn’t matter if the people you connect ever do any business. They appreciate the gesture because no one ever does this. Heck, you can keep introducing people to the same 10 friends you already have. Sure you may not be a super networker but people will think you are and act accordingly.

More so, very few people ever volunteer referrals. This is for several reasons, first people are lazy, second people generally are not outwardly nice and volunteer to help, people are worried you may burn their friends, people want to take a cut and broker things.

If you actively volunteer introductions, advice or info, people are appreciate and remember that. They will give your name to people that need your help. If you are lucky you will find people that will volunteer to make 1 connection, if you are lucky. Most people you have to ask to tap their network. If you want to be a super connector, you must volunteer your network and make a flurry of referrals. It will overwhelm them, that is good. That means they will think you are a good guy and know a lot of people. One day you will need a favor from them and they will gladly do it because you spent 2 minutes and introduced them to 5 people they probably talked to once and then forgot about.

Everyone wants to know a super networker. You can be one now.

Now my last post was some general tricks for how to be a good networker. There are 2 more topics that need to be covered. The first one is

Be the Host.

Organize people and host events. Start a MeetUp.com group or leverage your linkedin connections. If you are the host you have the power. Use it. Find your local trade and industry groups, join the volunteer event committees. Sure you have to do work but you get credibility and contacts out of it. I’ve hosted many networking events and am on several event committees. I love it. I get to be in charge and be in control and people love me for it. Of course, this isn’t for everyone as it’s isn’t easy to be able to organize and run a meeting.

Now for the real networking tactic….the one that i use everyday … it is so simple you’re going to say “woah! why don’t I do that now!?”…. what is it?

Well, you’ll have to wait for my next post…hehe…

If you read all those fancy (and very good)M. Gladwell business books such as the Tipping Point and Blink, you learn about connectors. Connectors are those people you know that seem to know everyone. They are your friend Jim from college that whenever you find something you can and he comes through. In College maybe it was an ounce of hydroponic bliss but perhaps now its an invite to a sold show, a job referral or a new client.

Most people think hes a super networker, i could never be like him, I’m not social enough. Here’s a news flash, you don’t need to be social to be a networker superman.

I consider myself a professional networker. In fact it’s listed on my resume. Recruiters come to me all the time when they need people to hire and I have had friends tell otgher people “I don’t need to network, whenever I need something I just ask Richie”. While this may true and while AD (my friend) does not network and relies on me (which is dumb btw - always be able to do for yourself) he could easily do it. I’m going to share with the world my secrets to being a professional networker.

1) Get to know the host. If you are at an event, it doesn’t matter who you meet on the floor, they are too busy mingling to remember you, get to know the host. Oddly the host is usually the least social at the event because he’s worried about it and appreciates when people care about him. He also happens to be able to connect you with everyone in the room. Know the host and you know everyone.

2) Be Credible. Build credibility around what you are offering. If you do X, make sure you subtlely can prove you know your shit. You don’t want to sound like you are full of poop - people won’t remember you. Support your brand with a good business card, maybe a personal site with a blog and references on it. You don’t need to have a tier 1 domain (like bootstrapper.com) or an insane personal site (like RIchHecker.com) to stand out but you can do little things that help.

3) Have meaningful conversations. How many people you meet doesn’t mean poop for brains. Make a few quality connections. Don’t just pass around business cards. If you want to be a networker, people need to remember you. You don’t have to best friends but they need to be able to associate you with time/place/purpose if you want to be able to do my next point.

4) Leverage other people’s networks. Now, this has nothing to do with using people and even less to do with asking favors. It’s simply getting to know people and get to know what what makes them tick and who they know. Then when you need something casually bring it up and hint at it - if they are a good connection, they will volunteer their help. Don’t beg, market.

5) The single most powerful tool is….you will have to wait for my post next post….